So yeah. I mean that title figuratively and
literally. My actual skin is sensitive but then I myself can be pretty
sensitive. Sometimes in a goodo way, sometimes not so much. Being overly
sensitive tends to mean I’m fairly fab at noticing the subtleties of the moods
of others but then it can also make me completely overreact because I’m too
busy mind-reading to actually communicate.
The reason is that I feel everything very keenly. When I’m really happy I’m a bouncing ball
of unstoppable, giggly energy. When I’m truly angry I’m a whirring, frowning,
yelling mess. When I’m very sad I’m an apathetic, deflated, exhausted shell of
a person. If you make me laugh, the mirth is authentic, if you send me love, I
radiate it back tenfold. If you demonstrate your dazzling personality, I
contentedly bask in the glorious glow and if you ask for my help, you’re damned
sure to get whatever I can give. If however, you speak or act unkindly,
selfishly or without compromise then yeah, childishly (and probs egotistically)
or not I’m definitely going to retreat and withdraw behind my walls of
misunderstood martyrdom.
I’d like to say that I’ve developed a thick skin
as I’ve gotten older but it really isn’t the case. No matter what lies I tell
myself about that -- one harsh word, an instance of intimidation or condescension,
cold shoulders or people laughing at me
rather than with me and bam, I
regress into a sheepish fourteen year old stumbling through social drama. It is
definitely the aspect of my educator-hat that I wish I had more control over
too as I find it super hard not to take student behaviour to heart; whether it
be attitude, rudeness or just plain old indifference. But it’s loved ones that
have the highest potential for complete internal devastation on my part,
perhaps because of the trust I’ve placed in them or the obligation that forces
them to love me despite my faults. The impact others can have on my confidence,
mood or overall happiness is just crazy sometimes and despite my efforts to
counter or console I often can’t shake it for days.
Perspective is vital and I know in the grand
scheme of things a few hurt feelings aren’t all that bad. I guess it just
occurs to me very regularly that all of us have it within our power to bring
positivity, compassion and the HappyChappy so maybe the next time you go to say
something off the cuff or neglect another because you figure it isn’t important…
stop and think how you would feel it
if happened to you. The easily-sunburnt, psoriasis-suffering,
tea-tree-oil-loving author of this post will be, I can promise you.
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