It’s 2014. I’m twenty-six years of age {yikes!} which
isn’t old of course but certainly
older than what I could ever have dreamt ahead to in my childhood. I’m not
lying when I say that there are a lot of things that have (or haven’t!)
eventuated by my mid-twenties that I assumed would be under my belt by now.
Changing times and all that. Still, it can be very hard to quell the social
expectation of where you should be at any one time in your life. Spesh when
there are so many opportunities for comparison (family, friends, peers, fiction!).
Regardless, the Lyn of 2004 is almost unrecognizable to the Lyn of 2014 who
sits here jibber-jabbering about herself. Ten years is a long time. Actually,
strangely, it feels like an eternity.
---
Dear Lyn@16,
This feels weird. Like, hearing a recording of
your voice {do I really sound like a giggling chipmunk} weird, not so much the
underpants-on-your-head-and-pencils-stuck-up-your-noise-a la-Blackadder weird. Such a great start to
this little nostalgic hi-ho. Mostly I guess this feels weird because
sixteen-year-old Lyn and current Lyn are verrrry different people.
It’s ’04. You’re still plugging away at school,
getting to the business end of that whole thirteen-years-of-compulsory-education
thing. You live with your folks (who are fab), your womb buddy is still at home
with you (no broken window incidents for ages by this stage, of course!) and
the fam is driving around in the little red bubble. You’ve got your interests
which, similarly to now, anchor predominantly around trying to do well at
stuff, music and Star Wars. This is
the year you start working at Charcoal Chicken (and developing an unhealthy
obsession with chicken salt), the year after your
fairly-soul-destroying-first-and-last-AMEB-exam and the year before your final
stint at Altona Secondary College. There will be some pretty big things coming,
good and bad; new friendships starting and others being irrevocably damaged, scary
adult-hood stuff on its way (voting, bills, choosing a career!) whether you’re
ready or not, life-changing discovery and tragic loss. Actually, that last one,
yeah, let’s just say having an extra ten years in the bank counts for nothing
in that regard.
Anyway! One of the biggest things that will
happen for you this year revolves around your musical sense of self, awareness
and growth. Up to now you’ve been struggling to transform your absolute joy
into accessible skill. Um, sure, you like
playing music, you love hearing
it and responding on a soulful level and you hope you can maybe someday soon share this with the next generation
of budding musos… but it’s tough. You suck at it a lot of the time. There are
loads of people better at it then you. Even so, Lyn@16, you hold on to that dream. You know what’s coming this
year? Westgate. And two years after
that? Melba. After that the
awesomesauce muso stuff is endless. Westgate Concert Band will welcome you into
the fold this year and you’ll walk into those library doors for rehearsal and
think you’re only sticking around to satisfy VCE Music group formal stuff. You’ll
be bewildered, socially awkward, terrified of everything around you… but that
institution of groovy people and fab music will change your life. For the
better. Seriously, you will never ever be
the same.
As for other stuff, well, friends will come and
go. Some will pop back in your adulthood and the reconnection will be a beautiful
gift. There will be additions to your amazing family, as well as some
departures… You will continue to strive, stumble, struggle but through it all you
will grow and change. Every day. Your love life is pretty bleak at this stage
and to be honest, that is mirrored today… but that elusive journey of
self-discovery you’ve been promised happens when you leave school will actually freaking happen. Like a
movie. You’ll meet so many new and wonderful people, have ground-breaking
epiphanies, reach some dazzling highs and sink to depressing lows. You will
stay on your nerdy little path and achieve what you wanted. You’ll be a music
teacher. You’ll be passing on your love of this inconceivable art. You will be
making a difference and bringing the happy. So, brave heart Lyn@16. Your world is about to fling you
into an eventful decade of wonderment.
Yours in ten years, Lyn@26. Xxx
P.S. Oh, and try not to be so hard on yourself.
You’ll have plenty of time for that later… but it really isn’t necessary. You
are blessed and happy. Try not to forget it.
P.P.S Next year is Episode III year. You’ll
think this is the last new Star Wars film
you will get to see in the cinema but I can tell you there is more to come. And
you may owe your Daddy-o an apology for doubting his mocking taunts about an
Episode VII throughout your childhood.
P.P.P.S. Invent the smartphone. And apps. And
Facebook. That is all.
---
Gentle readers, give this a go. It's a nice way to reflect and look back. Be kind to yourself!
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